Becoming a parent is a beautiful journey, but it can also bring about significant changes in your relationship with your partner. It’s completely normal for your relationship to go through ups and downs during this time. Understanding these changes and knowing that you’re not alone can make a big difference. Let’s talk about how hormonal and physical changes, loss of confidence, and other factors can impact your relationship, and how open communication can help you navigate these challenges together.
Understanding the Changes
During pregnancy and the postpartum period, your body undergoes numerous hormonal and physical changes. These changes can affect your mood, energy levels, and even your libido. You might experience fluctuations in hormones like oestrogen and progesterone, which can lead to mood swings, fatigue, and anxiety (Miller, 2020). Additionally, the physical changes such as weight gain, stretch marks, and recovery from childbirth can impact how you feel about your body. It’s common to feel less confident about your body and your attractiveness, especially when surrounded by images of ‘perfect’ bodies and relationships. Remember, these feelings are normal and to be expected.
Impact on Your Relationship
The changes you experience can impact your relationship in various ways. You might find that you and your partner are less intimate or that you’re struggling to connect emotionally. This can be due to exhaustion, stress from new responsibilities, or simply not feeling like yourself. It’s important to remember that these changes are a natural part of the journey and not a reflection of your love or commitment to each other. Both partners may also feel overwhelmed and anxious about the new roles and responsibilities of parenthood, which can sometimes lead to misunderstandings or conflicts.
Open Communication is Key
One of the most important things you can do is to keep the lines of communication open with your partner. Talk about how you’re feeling, both physically and emotionally. Share your concerns and listen to theirs. This can help you both understand each other’s experiences and work together to find solutions. Open communication can also involve discussing your fears and expectations about your new roles as parents, as well as your needs for support and intimacy.
Other Factors Influencing Relationship Dynamics
Besides hormonal and physical changes, several other factors can influence your relationship dynamics during the perinatal period. Social expectations and pressure to be the ‘perfect parent’ can add stress to your relationship. Financial concerns, sleep deprivation, and the overall adjustment to a new lifestyle can also strain your connection with your partner (Redshaw & Henderson, 2013). Additionally, being surrounded by well-meaning but sometimes overwhelming advice from friends and family can lead to further stress.
Seeking Support
If you’re finding it difficult to navigate these changes on your own, don’t hesitate to seek support. This could be through talking to a therapist, joining a support group, or simply reaching out to friends and family. Professional help, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), can be particularly effective in addressing any mental health challenges you might be facing. CBT can help you develop strategies to manage stress, improve communication with your partner, and enhance your overall well-being (Abramowitz et al., 2010).
Words of Support
Perinatal mental health, particularly OCD, can present unique challenges. It is crucial to be mindful of your needs and the difficulties you may face during this period. Reaching out to a professional who can support you in getting the right help and therapy, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), can make a significant difference. This support can help improve your well-being and strengthen your relationship with your partner and bond with your baby.
References
Abramowitz, J. S., Schwartz, S. A., Moore, K. M., & Luenzmann, K. R. (2010). Obsessive-compulsive symptoms in pregnancy and the puerperium: A review of the literature. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 17(4), 461-478.
Miller, E. S. (2020). Postpartum depression. New England Journal of Medicine, 383(22), 2172-2180.
Redshaw, M., & Henderson, J. (2013). From antenatal to postnatal depression: Associated factors and mitigating influences. Journal of Midwifery & Women’s Health, 58(6), 653-659.
Satheesa Varma, D., Kukreti, P., & Chandra, P. S. (2022). Social and cultural factors in perinatal mental health. In Oxford Textbook of Social Psychiatry (pp. 433-446). Oxford University Press.
Redshaw, M., & Wynter, K. (2022). Maternal mental health: Women’s voices and data from across the globe. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth, 22(796). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12884-022-05064-5
Davis, J. A., Ohan, J. L., Bear, N., Gibson, L., Silva, D., Prescott, S., & Finlay-Jones, A. (2024). “Stop, pause and take a break”: A mixed methods study of the longer-term outcomes of digital emotional wellbeing training for perinatal women. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth, 24(811). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12884-024-07002-z